You’ve Got Mail

Tonight I watched You’ve Got Mail for the second time. And like the first time, I liked it a lot. I really did.

As silly as it seems, the light-hearted narrative is every bit as predictable as heart-warming. I haven’t quite figured out what exactly about the film that touched me. Perhaps it is the subtle wittiness of the dialogues. Perhaps it is simply witnessing the beauty of a modern romeo & juliet romance blossom. Perhaps it is relating to each character’s journey to triumph in a city that is becoming so close to my heart – a city where so many souls are searching for the same inner voice for guidance, and yet facing the same dilemma between following the inner voice once found and giving into the tidal wave of society – a city where making the fine distinction between bravery and naivety seems nearly impossible.

I love what Kathleen wrote, “Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”

Don’t we all lead small, but valuable lives? How do we know if this is the best life we could lead? How do we know if there could be something better and more significant that we could be part of? If only we knew all the alternative lives we could possibly lead, and we sift through the list, like spinning a rolodex looking for that perfect alphabet, and go ‘yes that is the one I am looking for.’

If only.

Happy Birthday Pac-man

Happy birthday Mr. Pac-man. 30 years ago you were creates from an inspiration from a half eaten pizza in Japan. You are a (digitally) living proof that inspiration can find you when you least expect it.

Eat on, Mr. Pac-man.

The Last Dance

the beginning

I imagine a night of close friends and family around a fireplace in a home of warmth and beauty, wine glass in one hand, classical in the background, engaging in an intellectual and heart-warming conversation – about the world around us, the world within us, and the corners of the world we each take part in.

I don’t want to end this year with a party. I don’t want to dance the night away. I want a reflective social gathering, from which we can all learn from one another, laugh at the idiosyncrasies of the so-called life, be more in touch with compassion, and be just a little deeper than yesterday.

**

In 1963 John W. Gardner wrote in Self-Renewal:

“Life is harsh, but it has always been harsh. The only sensible view of life is, and always has been, based on a clear-eyed recognition – not necessarily acceptance – of the elements of tragedy, irony and absurdity in life. It is based too on a recognition of one’s own limitations and weaknesses, the inexorable facts of the life cycle and all the sorrows, irrationalities and indignities that afflict the flesh and the spirit.”

A lot has changed since the 60s, but life – the concept of it, the complexity of it, the depth of it – has stood the test of time.

**

Somewhere within us, we are all looking for a conclusion at this time of the year. Perhaps it’s about hope; perhaps it’s about proving to ourselves that the last 364 days have meant something, that they have served a purpose greater than ourselves; and perhaps it’s simply a philosophical thirst that cannot be easily quenched.

I don’t think it is hope, proof, or a philosophical quest at hand. I think it is being at peace we’re looking for; it is the desire to be at ease that we’re looking to fulfill – a calming sensation so unforgivingly rare and so unattainably precious.

Rob Bell wrote in Sex God, ”Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.” It is the same with being at peace.

To be at peace is to be brutally honest with who we are,
to not only embrace our weaknesses, but to build upon them;
to not only be fearless in our pursuits, but to find wisdom in our failures.

It is the ability to face uncertainties with a graceful resolve,
to explore and be connected with our inner selves,
to differentiate between happiness and desire,
to separate our identity with our possessions,
to know the difference between being weak and being vulnerable,
and most importantly,
to believe in ourselves beyond all reasonable doubt.

It is more than a state of mind – it is a way of living – it is a mission that we are all part of.

***

There is something about the last dance – the closing of a trial, the grand finale of a drama, the last glimpse of a sunset, the last day of the year – it’s the handshake that marks the first impression, yet it’s the farewell hug that inks the lasting impression.

May your last dance be graceful, beautiful, and peaceful.

Fail Once, Live Twice

Rarely do I read a magazine article word for word, sentence for sentence, opening to conclusion. I made an exception today, for an article no other than GQ’s Barack Obama’s Work In Progress. I read it end to end not because it was about Obama, but because the opening narrative struck a cord in me, a specific cord, an internal struggle that has plagued me for some time.

The article opened with Obama’s modest book reading session in Los Angeles. It was 1995, the year I arrived in America, as green as one can be. Obama had just published his first book, a memoir about his heritage. When he arrived at the Eso Won Books bookstore that night, he was greeted by a glass of water, the store owner, and an audience of 9.

9! That number changed everything for me. I paused, hesitated and unsure about my discovery. Then I read on. I had to. I had to read about Obama’s reaction to the size of the audience, after all he has had to devote a significant amount of time and effort to get over his writer’s block, to painstakingly re-evaluate and understand his heritage, and to finally produce a book of his own, a dream he has always had. Was he disappointed that only 9 showed up? Was he sad that his first book could have been more successful? Did he pity himself for the turnout? He did neither.

Instead he said to the crowd, “Why don’t we sit in a little circle?” That’s what he said. No disappointment, no sadness, no self-pity.

At this point of the reading, I thought of the photography exhibit that I have been working on, Underground Entrepreneurs. It’s the most ambitious photography project I have undertaken to produce. I have been “hunting” for street musicians on and off for the past 2 months, scouring for a location for display, and negotiating with caterers to feed the potential crowd. Through the process I have lost myself, I have lost the meaning, the reason of doing it all. I have lost my patience, my faith. I was fixated on the crowd turnout, the finances. I was fixated on the outcome, one that I have dreamed up, visualized in full, and one I could not let go.

Obama’s handle on the crowd of 9 reminded me that it should always be about doing the right thing, taking experience over outcome, focusing on the meaning of the work. The moment we know we are doing the right thing for the right reason, we have already succeeded. We have already set out to gain a great experience, and we will end up with a great outcome, one that may or may not be identifical to the one we dreamed of.

Often the best things in life are not the ones we have dreamed of and yearned for. They are the ones that we did not expect. They are the flowers you receive when least expected. They are the moments of clarity that set you free. They are the ones that remind us be thankful. They are the ones that make us humble.

There is no weakness in talking about failures, is another lesson from the article.

I agree.

Not only is there  no weakness in talking about failures, there is no weakness in failing either.

After all — fail once, we live twice.

Mission vs. Profit

Abe sent me a very interesting WSJ article today: A Global Surge in Tiny Loans Spurs Credit Bubble in a Slum.

“Some observers blame a fundamental shift in the microfinance business for feeding the problem. Traditionally, microlenders were nonprofits
focused on community service. In recent years, however, many of the
larger microlending firms have registered with the Indian central bank
as a type of for-profit finance company.”

When there is a profit to be made and private business pile in to cash
in on the opportunity, a larger-than-self mission to eradicate poverty
turns into a profit-making business and defeats the purpose. This is
where the non-profits are more suited than free enterprise.

Focus on the mission, the profit will come. Focus on the profit, the
mission is lost.

A New Direction

"It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot

The fridge hums behind me like a swarm of bees in a constant state of unrest. The night is dark and stands quietly with occasional lightning piercing through the sky. Scattered city lights dots the horizon across the Hudson River.

For the past few days I have been thinking about the recent Aspen trip, the first MSIC (Mozar Strategic Innovation Council) meeting that took place on the patio of the beautiful Plato’s Restaurant, part of Aspen Institute. How fitting and meant to be, I so wanted to believe.

Thanks to Joanie from Aspen School of Music and Festival‘s support, we were fortunate to have presentation from New England Conservatory (Tom Novak), Shepherd School of Music (Brad Blunt), and The Colburn School (Kathy Tesar). After two hours of exhaustive discussion about technology’s role and performing arts institutions’ perception of technology as a whole, and challenges each institution is facing, I had quite a few takeaways and a lot to think about. We agreed that technology is indeed a strategic priority for their organizations, that we are at the tipping point of the generational shift to gen y, that the death of traditional software development approach is slow but inevitable, that the uniqueness of each performing arts institution demands bespoke solutions, and much more.

When the brunch tab settled, I realized what we needed wasn’t a conclusion, a definitive answer; what we needed was a conversation, a discussion, a shift in perception, an eye-opener, a first step, a recognition of a gap in existence, a handshake in collaboration, a moment to reflect.

The next 6 months is crucial for many of us, as we embrace the economic pain and still strive to move forward, tickling between a balance between conservative survival instinct and progressive forward thinking. I think about Mozar Group and what it stands for, what is meant to be, and why it exists. I think about Mozar Strategic Innovation Council and its first meeting, what it meant, and what is next. I think about the difference between a for-profit company and a non-profit foundation, and what Mozar Group’s identity should be.

I want Mozar Group to be the #1 innovation partner that performing arts institutions go to for advice when it comes to technology strategy, when it comes to collaborative initiatives, establishing standardized solutions within the industry, and developing artists as entrepreneurs. It’s a gap that desperately needs to be filled and a daunting responsibility that needs to be shouldered.

Perhaps it’s time for Mozar Group to take on a new direction, from for-profit to non-profit, from Mozar Group to The Mozar Foundation, and start serving the industry from a different perspective.

Spiritial & Sartorial Zen

“Behind every great man there’s a great woman, and behind every great woman there’s a great man. A woman knows how to trigger a man’s sensitivity and open him up to things that sometimes he can be a little shortsighted about, like how to truly enjoy life. A man knows the element of surprise, which women sometimes forget.

Being romantic can be simple – it’s those quiet times. When you can just shut it down and really come together as one – that’s romantic.” – Donna Karan on staying in balance.

Here is to every man behind the other woman, and every woman behind the other man, and to the little romances of everyday life.  Cheers.

Sensitivity

Late singer-songwriter and guitarist Jeff Buckley once said, “Sensitivity isn’t being wimpy, it’s about being so painfully aware that a flea landing on a dog is like a sonic boom.”

I know little about Jeff or his music, but I share his sentiment, painfully so.

As kids we asked questions, gazed with wonder, awed by our surroundings – the touch of a rain drop on our faces, the buildings that stretch into the blue sky, the shadow that followed us around.

As adults we are bound by fear, filled with caution, rushed by reality.  We left behind naïve curiosity; we no longer take in the world around us – one breath, one blink at a time.  We long for a safe haven; we chase after the next best thing.  We’re afraid to fall, to act silly, to tell the truth.  We become jaded, worn, and protective of ourselves, mentally, physically and whole-heartedly.  We have often forgotten what it means to be sensitive, to feel.

When was the last time you felt touched?  A tingling in your spine, a slight tick in your heart, a sense of wonder, a pause in time that reminds you what it means to be sensitive, to feel, to be felt, and to be alive.

I want to live again, fearlessly, sensibly.

Between the wish and the thing, life lies waiting

IDEO Design Thinking

We all have secret wishes, wishes that we carry since we were little, things that we wanted to do, to be, but only to quietly stash them away, put aside, in light of “real life.” Some of us want to be the best chefs, open our own boutique shops, design the coolest interior spaces, be an expert in Latin American culture, publish a novel, and so on …

I want to be an amazing photographer. I want to travel. I want to listen to people’s stories, be amazed, be captured by the everyday wonders of the world.  I want to build a company that invests in the progress of humanity, in technologies that make our lives easier, safer, and more enjoyable, in cultivating more thinkers, entrepreneurs, creatives – the likes of David Kelley and Sir Richard Branson.

Mozar Group marks its 4th anniversary this year, a quiet milestone, a silent ovation for our fight to make a difference in the art, music, and technology world. Over the past 4 years, a lot has happened in this world – wars, political strife, economy instability, focus on social responsibility, global awareness, and so on.  One thing that hasn’t changed in my mind, is the importance of entrepreneurship, and that each one of us, can’t simply bury the secret wishes of ours and settle for less, that we need to summon the courage and take the first step toward realizing our dreams.

Because, life won’t wait forever.